at just a moments notice

saturday

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 07:47:05 GMT

night, and im waiting for dreams. it was nice to see everyone this weekend, it was nice seeing her. i have missed her. today was oysterfest, lots of drinks, a couple oysters. after that, it was time for a baseball game, but as soon as i got there, it was like i was just forgotten about, not even a bye, not even ill see you in the morning, just left. after our time together...together together, sharing that time, being with eachother, sharing the same heart beat at that same time...not even a bye...dont get me wrong, everything seemed so right, so intimate, so wonderful...in that instance, everything seemed perfect.but still, not even a wave goodbye, maybe im over reacting.

...it kinda hurt.

back to work on monday, which means back home tomorow, and back to the falling and climbing.

*sigh*

i need to just breathe, slowly.

the sunday before

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 18:33:44 GMT

monday, work starts manana, its super long ass days, but totally fun. i mean, so far, i have just been painting trees, im sure this week ill learn something different, like flagging, or plot layout.

its ruff though, not having any friends down there to kick it with, the guys are cool that i work with, but theres no one my age. kinda shitty. im not gonna say no to anyone that wants to come down and see me this weekend...hint hint. but there is no bed right now, so mats, and blankets are all that is working. take it or leave it.

uhh, my head hurts, i feel no feelings currently, even though i should be. i already miss my friends, and i only got to hang out with a couple of them this weekend. i suppose ill be back two weeks from now, but still, if no one comes down and sees me, ill be all by myslef till then.

i have a phone number and get off at 5 everyday...if you got the number and got the time, dont be a stranger

its thursday

Thu, 24 May 2007 18:27:09 GMT

& my head hurts pretty bad, im low on money, and no one is around.

BOOO!

im tryign to make a camping trip happen right now, but its not working out the way i wanted it to.

lame, i guess the river is going to have to work for now, maybe something will come up.

drum and bass last night was tight, even though there werent that many people there, wel still rocked the house. cant get enough d&b.

still, is it alright now? hopefully so.

the summer job is coming up soon, and im getting nervous. REALLY nervous. *sigh* makin the bucks though, but nervous.

its all too much

Tue, 08 May 2007 16:48:55 GMT

my brain hurts, and i feel like im not getting anywhere.

school is almost over, i cant wait to get away for a bit, see the fam. hang out with some friends, just relax and not think about anything.

almost done, just a couple of days left, and then home free...well at least till next year starts up again.

my mind is so tired.

everything else is going great, the summer is almost here, things are going better with people in general, i have been way active lately. just need to get through the next couple of days.

no problem right? haha.

question

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 06:07:47 GMT

how many times can you tell someone something before they get it?

i want to know why it is so difficult to belive something someone is telling them when it has been the same thing over and over again.

its just a little frustrating sometimes.

all i wanna do is take a shower

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 14:21:10 GMT

what a weekend. and to think, i woke up this morning not having a shower for the last day and there was no hot water for me to take a shower with. i thought it got fixed...thats what they told me, maybe its just broken indefinatly. reguardless, im waiting for the hot water to get ready and i dont know if it will by the time i need to take off for school. its a long ass day today, and the last thing i want is to not have taken a shower. thats what usually gets me up in the morning. grr, and i have a test today, and all this work to get done...uhh, im starting to get stressed out here. everything is coming all at once. i know a good majority of the students right now are hating life...i knowim not to happy with school right now, then again, the end is just around the corner...and i dont know if im ready to be done with it yet.

i wanna hold my chica. i wanna not go to class and take a test. i wanna not have to worry about papers and lab reports. i wanna just be not stressed, or getting to that point!

GRRRR

my fucking water heater..UHHHHHHH

yea, im startin to get there to

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 14:25:42 GMT

all this crapola is starting to accumulate. i havent evenly spread my work load across the semester like i should have, but its alright, ill get all that shit done.

things are going good with the lady. there are some days when we dont get to see eachother for that long, or something is bothering one of us, but i cant complain. we are growing together and still, finding out what eachothers needs and wants are. its important in a relationship to be communicative. thats a key concept in being able to get along with eachother. im glad that i dont have to feel afraid talking to her about something, or vice versa. its just comforting to know that at the end of a long ass day, school work, labs, homework, work, ect, that my baby will be there to hold me close and tell me that everything is going to be alright.

ahhh, im late for school...i still need to get ready!

since 330 this morning

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 14:11:42 GMT

i have been laying in bed, just staring at the wall, with the most intense stomach aches i have ever had, there was nothing i could do, i have been just laying there in bed, stuck, turning back and forth, side to side, trying to find a comfortable position, but couldnt.

OMG it hurts so bad. i think im going to get all the main stuff(classes) done with today, and skip out on the stuff i dont REALLY need to go to. my tummy hurts way to bad, and if its like this for the whole day, im not going to be a very happy camper.

i wanted to call her this morning and have her whipser me back to sleep, but im pretty sure a call at 4 in the morning wouldnt have been the best thing to get.

owwww. it hurts.

monday

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:27:56 GMT

and its the start all over again.

i didnt feel very good last night, i started to get a little anxious and nervous...its going to be about that time where everything starts being due, and my mind starts racing at a hundred miles an hour. i got just a taste last night. uhhh, it was making me feel confined.

i dont wanna go to classes today. im tired.grrrr

back at it

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 19:40:20 GMT

so the break was really really long it seemed like. we took 5th overall in the competition, was hoping for better what theres always next year...which will be the last one for me. it was still a fun event, got a chance to climb up that tree and show everyone that a short mexican can be a fast pole climber too. pfff, those damn washington state kids...not even foresters they are.

missed my baby, im glad she was there to pick me up, that first kiss after a week was just what i needed.

uhhh, the schedule for next semester is already out, and im already stressing about it, it sucks really bad. boooo! only one more year to go though, thats not that bad. then ill be makin the big bucks as a forester...lol. right.

alright, enough fuckin aroudn on this computer. i need to finish up my schedule andstart reading these stupid chapters. grrr.

the morning thime

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 15:07:14 GMT

and another week in paradise.

sooo much is due this week, like two reports, two midterms, and this other paper thingy. ahhh!

sleeping and cuddling sound much more wanted, and needed!

spring break is rapidly approaching, i wont get to relax, but i will be able to compete...and get frist place in all my events! at least, thats the plan.

im gonna miss her. alot. its only 5 days. she will be havin fun in so cal, while i get to climb trees in sub-degree weather. oh the life of a logger.

just gotta get through this week though.

uhhhh!

i need to start getting ready for school.

Friday

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 15:25:01 GMT

already.

gese, i have a bunch more shit to take care of for classes.

crap!

and im super tired, and i wanna get back in bed and curl up with my gurl.

i dont know what i wanna do right now, but ill tell ya this, its not go to class...

pfff, im such a good student.

isnt it strange, we find ourselves talking electronically to something that doesnt answer us back...we sit in front of this plastic piece of machinery and sometimes tell it the most intimate secrets...just puzzles me how werid people really are.

damnit, i dont wanna go to school right now!

its

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:49:59 GMT

earlier in the morning then i wanted to get up, but didnt feel like just laying there in bed. i wanted to be cuddled with, i wanted my gurl.

uhhh, i gotta try and write this lab/paper thing today, i really really REALLy dont wanna but ivehad it since the beginning of the semester so i kinda have to start on it.

glad the gurl and i got to go to the movies, it was nice to NOT think about homework for a night and just go out and have fun with her.

so, my trip is next week. we are leaving sunday and coming back on sat. so, its not a complete week away. but it is goign to be BUTT ASS COLD. even though we are going to be sardined in a motel room, im gonna be using my mummy bag. im taking no chances on waking up super cold.
and for the whole three drinks per night, i just dont think im gonna be drinkin at all during competition nights. gotta keep the body in mint condition...im not planning on taking 2nd or third in any of my events...im going for 1st or nothing. hopefully, i do it safely.

she called me her lover...i like it when shes happy, when she smiles, when i know she needs me, when i know she cares about me. i like it when she holds me and looks into my eyes telling me shes all mine, and making sure she knows that im all hers and not going anywhere. i like when she just knows that im thinking about, and doesnt need to worry.

i like her. alot.

k, time to get ready for escuela. a good morning journal always gets me going for the day.

back at it

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:47:40 GMT

just another school week started.

ever get the feeling that you wanna just punch a big hole in the wall, or scream really really loud, or just drive somewhere?

uhhhh.

i want the weekend back, even though the weekend still was a bit long and rough, it beats not having to worry about tests, or homework due.

GOD! all i want is to not worry about what i do.

thursday night

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 05:56:59 GMT

and all is quite. my tummy is full, and i just got out of the shower and feelin great!

tomorow is going to be a long day. a productive day, but a long day..oo, i think i get paid tonite at 12. yesssssss.

intervidw went alright i suppose this afternoon. seemed like they liked laughing at me though, dont know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.i totally didnt even dress up either.

i wanna sell some of my stocks from *$'s but im wondering if i should keep them locked away for a rainy day. although, it would be nice to cash in some flow if ya know what im sayin.

alright, time to crawl into bed and veg. out.

another day in paradise

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 08:03:53 GMT

is what i told myself when i woke up. however, earlier this evening, kimee and myself ran across a lake..in the middle of the friggin road. it was crazy, i thought my shit was gonna giv eout, the lights started to get a little dim. but we made it out and live to tell the story another day.

*sigh*

man, today was f'ing lame. uhh, test + lab(everything that could make a person mad in lab) = tiring day.

stoked to find out though that i was accepted to be on one of the teams for this years AWFC. Fuk yea! this is what we have been training for the last year. all the big dawgs are gonna be there:washington, oregon, montana, colorado. shit. its a hard line up. i really really REALLY hope we dont have to stay in tents, that would suck balls wakin up hella early and competing all day after sleeping in the mf'in rain all night, cold and shit, uhhh. well see what happens, gotta keep the hopes up for cabins.

sucks it had to end up being the same week as spring break though.whhy?

eyes are getting heavy, that means its time for mimis.

the wed

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:34:43 GMT

and only one test. its pouring outside, good thing i got the proper rain attire.

uhh, my head hurts.

feelin pretty good on the test i gotta take today. wildlife, lol. those damn wildlifers.

meeting till like 630ish tointe. its gonna be a long one.

damn it sounds like this be the big-f-l-a-s-h-f-l-o-o-d flashflood.

ahhh, the caffinee.

monday

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 15:13:45 GMT

and back to it. another beautiful week of learning and early rising.

only one test this week, wednessday, but lots of labs and shit to take care of. no work on tuesday so thatll give me a chance to catch up on some work.

im on campus till 7 today. UHH! what a long ass day.

i already miss waking up next to her, another week until the next.

coffee's ready!

wow

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:07:13 GMT

its friday finally. gese louis.

*a sigh of relief*

I DONT WANNA GO TO WORK, but then that means sleepovers await.

the accomadator or however you spell it...not funny. thats talking about your boyfriend.

thursday

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:45:52 GMT

and done with the test. got it done in like 20 minutes...FUCK YEA! i totally aced that test, which is good cause i just checked my wildlife test and i ended up getting a d....UHHH! lame, so now i know im going to have to study alot more for that class now. LAME!

other than that, i just got some more homework to do before the weekend starts, shouldnt be tooo strenuous. SLEEP OVERS AWAIT!

miss her. grrr.

off to the studying/homework now.

why is it

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:15:27 GMT

so hard to just believe me. i dont think she wants to, and now its resulted in us no longer being a couple. i made one comment to a friend about her looks. that was the wrong thing to do.

i thought we talked about it, she cant get over the fact that imade that comment. i cant get over the fact that isaid that either and it ame out to be such a huuuge thing. ifi would have known this would be the outcome from something i had mentioned like 2 weeks ago or however long it was, then i would have never even said it. shes more important then a stupid comment i could make.

none the less, i have been shown what i didnt wanna see. trust is a huge thing, probably one of the most important things in a relationship...and if the person your seeing, being intimate with, loving, caring for cant trust you, then there is seriously an issue.

i dont want to end our relationship, and i didnt want to end our relationship, but you need both people in the relationship to want eachother and be able to trust eachother to make it work.

i fucked up, and now ive lost the person i care about because of it.

i came home last night, and layed in my bed, wondering what she was thinking. i didnt go anywhere, i didnt call anyone, i didnt do anything besides comeing home and going to bed. she didnt even wanna believe me of that so how can she trust me with anything else.

im sorry you dont, im sorry i fucked up, im sorry that there was a miscommunication, im sorry that forgivness isnt even something your considering.

she says its better for the both of us...im making her feel worse about herself then when she came up here...thats not something i want to do about someone i care about.

i support her and want her to do what is comfortable and right for her, even if it means hurting me...

finally friday

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 00:57:29 GMT

is here. that week took forever. uhhh!

im ready for sleepovers, and kisses now. well, first i gotta get hyped up on that crak we call *$

after trabajo, its the gurl and party time! yaaaa, relaxing.

no practice manana, everyone is in redding. im glad i didnt go, i would have had to postpone and study even more for that test longer.

next week is a doozie. wait, i dont wanna think of it already. ahh.

k off to work.

manana

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 05:12:10 GMT

is the first mens test ill take...uhh, totally stressed. i did about as much studying as my little brain could take in a sitting. time to take a little break and get back to it.

...i miss my gurl, i wanna be with her as we speak, but cant...grr.

studying is lame but necessary.

*shaking head*

this loggerboy needs his gurl...am i being to needie again.

AHHHHHHH, TEEEEEST!

panicy

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 15:22:36 GMT

is the way that school is making me feel. i got all this shit due on friday, well stuff to do by friday, getting ready for tests, papers, exams, lab reports, applications , theres just too much stuff, its making me feel out of control, and i dont like feeling out of control.

i just wanna be held and told everything will be alright. i miss her.

all this work load is making me feel pent up, not able to move, i dont like it.

*sigh*

my head hurts already, and its only 7:19 in the morning. uhh, and today is one of the longest friggin days out of the week. uhhh!

why? why do they make it so hard, why is it always a hassle to get stuff done in a timely manner, why do they think its alright to give sooo much of a work load...they think its like our only class in the semester.

the end of the week is approaching, and i still have to much to do.

i just need to take deep breathes and relax and think that it will be just fine, i just need to allocate the time given into certain areas that need it the most.

damnit i miss her.

off to school. first exam today, well see how that goes. wish me luck.

ahhh

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 16:58:52 GMT

those eyes. those eyes are mezmorizing...those eyes take me away to high places...those eyes...